Saturday, October 18, 2014

10/17/14 5:40pm (tho it started long before this)

Dear Husband,

Come before daybreak
dear Husband
There are too many people here
people who don't know me
and don't know you

They have asked me a dozen times
in a million insinuated ways
"When are you getting married
"When will you commit for the rest of your life?
"When will you join yourself to something
             bigger than yourself
and see it through to the end?"

Husband
they can't see the ring on my finger
nor the lock on my heart
They don't know that I am yours
              forever
as you are mine

Come kiss me in the sight of all my critics
the skeptics
the ill-believers
Hold my hand in the midst of the gossips
and the mother-hens
and the busybodies too busy knowing
             everything
to know this body

Husband
dear Husband
they don't know us
but come quickly
lest I tell them as much.

9/2/14 10:45am Counting Crows always remind me of you

Brother
where are you?
The song you wrote about us
came on the radio today
such an old song
it's been so long since you've said hello
Since worrying about your problems was something I'd tried to duck
to avoid

What kind of man have you become
Brother-mine

Are you alive
or is the news report I googled going to be my only notice
that you've died
Who are the pretty girls driving you wild
with their tales of love another

Have you made up with your Father
Has your brother moved back in
Is your sister your new sanctuary

I was the only one who claimed you
I was the only one who thought more of you
than "partying good time guy"
I know boys leave home
and never think of it again
but everyone goes home sometimes
even the ones they've built without walls

Sunday, May 18, 2014

When All the Stars Have Fallen

This story has been on my mind in many formats for a month or more.  Here's the version that finally made it onto paper.




When All the Stars Have Fallen

The worst part,’ Lola typed, ‘is seeing them together on TV.’ She hit ENTER.

A few seconds later: ‘why do you even watch stuff w/him on it?’ popped up in the little chat window.

Half-distracted by what she was watching, Lola shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’

"Wish I did," she said aloud. She sighed, knowing that she was lying to her friend and herself.
 
‘c’mon, Lo, you know why,’ popped up.

Lola snorted. "Okay, the only person I’m fooling is myself, then."

Mentally rolling up her sleeves, she dared to look away from the newscast that had caught her attention – they would replay it again later, anyway – and foocused on the laptop cradled between her knees.
 
‘Yes, ok, I do know. Stop badgering me. :p’
 
‘Looooooola, don’t do this to yourself mija. you’re fine w/o him’

Sighing, Lola typed back, ‘I know, I know. You’ve been telling me that since 3rd grade, Brie.’

‘so! drop him like a hot bag of horse manure. finally!’

Choosing to ignore the remark – and the accompanying visual it inspired – Lola typed, ‘It’s just we’re almost the same person, me & her.’

‘except your his actual kid & she’s the gf’s kid’

Sunday, May 11, 2014

A Certain Kind of Woman

After confessing to her friends that she’s lonely, it only takes a a week (and twenty-four solid hours of non-stop texts, emails, phone calls and hints from her friends) for her to get the cat.

She hates the cat. He’s symbolic of how lonely she actually is. No more hiding.

But he lets her cry into his fur every night, so she keeps him.

* * *

Two months later she gets a second cat. Instead of going home to her cat, and being that person, she goes home to her boys.

Somehow that makes everything better.

[Fin]



A writer-friend of mine convinced me to join StoryADay.org, for which you write a story a day .  I know, that was a hard one.  Anywho, I signed up because I kinda love signing up for these things, but it's been a rough May so I've hardly written anything.  So far this is the only thing that's publishable.The original is also much shorter.  It only takes up about 3/4ths of a sticky note.

Monday, April 14, 2014

NaPoWriMo Day 13 & 14

4/13/14 10 to 10am on the way to Sunday School

I have made You small in my own eyes
I have put myself before You
made the creature the focus of my worship
instead of the Creator of All Things
I worshipped me
and fell apart when I failed myself

Forgive me

You are the Center of all things
the figure upon which all of my life
all of my life
must hang
You are my Comfort and my Joy
my Brother, Father and Friend
and I have been none of
those things in return

Forgive me

NaPoWriMo Day 11 x2

4/11/14 the morning they told me...

Never let them tell any lies when I die
If they want to say I was secretly sad
full of remorse and always felt bad for things done
never let them near my poetry

If they want to say I was always glad
full of light and joy and never mad at the sins of the world
make them read it all
twice

I lived
and I was alive
I was full of good and bad
My life was not my own
though I've selfishly tried to steal it back
I gave too much
and offered too little
I believed with all my heart
and sat down when I should have stood up
My white lies have brought down nations
and inconsequential kindness made monuments of goodness

I was a woman
whole
half-grown
not a caricutrue
fully drawn
but only half-known

-----

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

NaPoWriMo Day 8 & 9 and a Bonus

4/8/14 written at 9:29pm, composed much earlier

Dear Husband,
I think I've given up
on the idea of us
But don't tell anyone
They'll only feel sad
for what will never come


4/9/14 10:40am thinking in the dark

Iit's strange
realizing that some of the ones
who've known you lngest
understand you least
and don't know it

Time That Heals
should also be
Time That Reveals
but neither always works that way


Bonus
4/9/14 9:40pm, I've changed my mind

Dear Husband,
Forget everything I said last night
Come find me
Come home
It sucks being here alone
when I know you be only a "Hello" away
(How long is this hello going to take?)