Tuesday, July 21, 2015

05/05/15 someday

someday
someone will look back at my catalogue
and wonder at the anger
the bitterness
weeping open wounds
that slash at pages
they'll read and be
exhausted by the repetitive
complaints
abuses
and hurts piled on my head
and shared on the heads of others

the loneliness will make them numb
they'll close the books
to wonder how pain
can feed a life so long
how to square the woman on the page
with the one who smiles in pictures
glowing in the words of others

they won't know
the way i hope you know
how i've poured out my love
on the ones i love
in silent support
unending curiosity
giggles and in-jokes
corny
cheesy
moments to live for
and die denying
fiercely protective
of faults and failings
but never accepting
there is nothing more to be found

my joy
my admiration
my devoted regard
and purest love
are written in arms that hold
in ears that listen
eyes that stay
focused on your face
feet that follow when others walk away
a mouth sealed against your secret
and a heart burdened with your hurts

someone
someday
will marvel how much pettiness
wretchedness
self-involvement
a page can hold

it was either give it to the page
or spend the time loving
choking

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